


Adora's Jealousy

by DoctorBabylon



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Child Abuse, Confessional, Guilt, Jealousy, POV Second Person, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27155300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorBabylon/pseuds/DoctorBabylon
Summary: After the Portal Incident (the end of season 3) Adora believes that she and Catra will be enemies forever. This is everything she wishes she could tell Catra.I wrote this on August 3rd 2019 write after I finished watching Season 3, then completely forgot about it until today.
Kudos: 5





	Adora's Jealousy

I knew I was Shadow Weaver’s favorite but I didn’t care because I felt like I deserved it. I told myself the Horde was a meritocracy and Shadow Weaver liked me because I was the most competent, the hardest worker, and the most obedient.

I saw the way Shadow Weaver treated you. She hurt you and threatened to kill you. She told me you deserved it and even as I feared for you’re safety and plead for mercy on you’re behalf, I still at least partially believed her. I told myself that if only you behaved a little more like me that she wouldn’t treat you like that. I always wanted to believe in Justice; that somehow people would get what they deserved.

Here’s the truth. Sixteen years ago a portal opened, just for a moment, to the world of the First Ones and a baby fell through. That’s me. I’m one of the First One and that’s the reason I can turn into She-Ra. I wanted to believe I was chosen because I was pure of heart or something but it’s just dumb luck that I happened to be born into the right lineage.

Shadow Weaver knew from day one I was going to become She-Ra and that’s why she treated me like I was special.

Shadow Weaver abused you Catra and I didn’t protect you because I was afraid, afraid of losing her favor and being treated the same way you were. I also didn’t protect you because I thought you deserved it. You didn’t deserve it Catra, just like I didn’t deserve preferential treatment; I made you’re life worse by pretending that it life was fair.

I’m sorry.

Shadow Weaver never loved you and was never going to love you no matter what you did. If it’s any consolation she never loved me either. I was just her weapon.

You’re right, I am a people pleaser but you’re wrong about why I liked you. I didn’t see you as weak or somebody I could manipulate; I was attracted to you because I thought you strong.

You always acted like you didn’t care what anyone thought and I admired that about you. I admired the guts it took to defy Shadow Weaver again and again, knowing the consequence. I saw you as reckless but brave and I loved you for that.

I didn’t want to admit this, not even to myself, but I’m jealous of you Catra.

Does that surprise you?

I’m jealous of you because you’re free in all the ways I’ve never been. I’m jealous of how little you always cared about the consequences of you’re actions, for you or anyone else. I’m jealous because you’re the one who gets to avenge yourself and defeat Shadow Weaver, I’m the one who has to save her when she’s dying and make peace with her. I’m jealous of you because no matter what you do, no matter who you hurt, you always act like you’re completely in the right.

It must be nice not caring about consequences of you’re actions

It must be nice not having to constantly second guess yourself

It must be nice not having to feel guilty

It must be easy blaming all you’re problems on other people

It must be nice not having to hate yourself

But I can't feel sorry for myself because I need to feel sorry for you. I can't feel bad about how Shadow Weaver treated me because I need to apologize for the way she treated you Whenever you do something terrible I can't hate hate you for it, instead I feel responsible and like it's my fault for not being a better friend, for not protecting you, for leaving the Fright Zone without you. That all over Catra, I'm not treating you with kid gloves anymore.

I’m jealous of you because I’m the chosen one and you’re the one who gets to decide her own destiny.


End file.
